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Yesterday I commented to my husband that he takes a totally different route from his office to the kitchen than I do. On the surface, it’s a “so what” thing.  But his explanation of why was very interesting. It actually speaks to our way of thinking.

We have a house that has multiple ways to enter each room. In fact, it has a circular flow – start here, go through all the connecting rooms and wind up where you started with no backtracking. He walks from his office, across the entryway, turns right, walks down the hallway and winds up in the kitchen.  I usually go from his office, walk through the entry area, then left through the family room which is open to the kitchen. So what’s the point? His contemplative, engineering mind determined his way is just 1 turn, 2 straight legs.

Yup, that’s his direct style, and his work reflects that too.  My route has more turns and a few curves to get to the same place.  I work like a honey bee and apparently travel the house the same way. Neither is right or wrong. But in the big scheme of things, it’s very helpful to know what his unique traits and characteristics are and how they interact with mine.  For the most part, they are totally different. This is true of everyone. We are each unique but have several traits in common. You communicate with others (and yourself) based on your uniqueness.  We each have a dominant trait and a blend of the others in lesser degrees.  You can identify your preferred communication style partly from these seven questions.

  • Are you the leader who gets things moving?
  • Do you want things to be fun – you brighten the room by showing up?
  • Do you care deeply for others?
  • Are you the one who creates the plans that you, and everyone else, should follow?
  • You see a need and move into action to meet it?
  • Are you generous with your time and treasure?
  • Are you smart but quiet and need time to process info before moving forward?

Understanding your preferred style will add perspective to how you think, react, respond, and relate.  It will help you identify your strengths, what triggers distress (yes, you can even identify patterns here, too), and how to make who you are work best for you. Friends and clients who’ve completed an assessment discover their innate strength characteristics and what triggers distress reactions.  They see personal reaction patterns by thinking through past experiences and recognizing how they feel, think or react to current situations. A client who is beginning a book writing process uses her profile to observe what patterns she sees on the chart when a stressful situation comes up. She says this awareness helps her nip it in the bud, saving a lot of negative feelings.  She’s beginning to see patterns in others and can improve her communication and her story writing. After all, her characters will have varied personalities too,

Enjoy your day!

P.S. If you are interested in learning more or have questions, send me an email at   I’ll answer each email promptly.